Babysitting Woes

I don’t know how moms can trust strangers with their babies.

When she was about two months old I tried to leave Fiona with a babysitter.  My husband and I were going to an opera preview at a friend’s house not far from where we live so we called a friend (former nanny) to watch her.  I was so stressed out that I had a miserable time and ended up coming home like an hour after I left. I couldn’t stay gone.  The thought of my little baby daughter alone with someone who was not me, freaked me out to the point that I just couldn’t handle it.

So I never left her alone again.

Needless to say, my social life took a massive hit.

Anyway, Fiona is now eight and a half months old and this time Hugh and I have a wedding to go to next weekend.  I am already having an anxiety attack.

So I have to ask, when does one become okay with leaving their child with a babysitter? I know that people do it all the time but I can’t imagine that they were always okay with it.  Is it the age of the child or the trust you have in the sitter?

This also leads me to the next point:  I am thinking of going back to work.  What happens then?  I know that most moms do go back to work and so they have to make alternate arrangements for childcare; but how do they? If I don’t feel ready at nearly 9 months to leave FIona with someone other than me, I don’t know that I would have been able to survive leaving her at 12 weeks…

Am I being crazy?  Is there something I don’t know?